Just one more wink, and it’s the eve of Christmas, and yes my dear Watson you guessed correctly that in another wink after that it is Christmas. But it doesn’t really feel like Christmas to me, do not get me wrong this is my most celebrated, anticipated time of the year, hell I even change the code names that I use into “Santa Close” in homage to Santa Claus, even customized a shirt for crying out loud. But I two more days and I still don’t feel it, maybe it’s because of loose bonds, loose ties from very close friends, we use to hang around a lot during this time of the year, trolling around the municipality of Pateros, attending “Simbang GaBABES” (get it?) at 4 o’clock in the morning, or maybe it’s because of the decreasing numbers of carolers in our part of town and even in your part of town I bet, back in the day as early as the first week of December you’d hear them sing but now it’s really scarce, or maybe it’s because of the weather? Usually when it’s the Christmas season you will feel a certain chill in the atmosphere specially when you wake up very early and ride a bike really fast (I miss this), but this one is odd, very gloomy skies, I miss azure skies, not these skies of pain, not to mention the catastrophe that had happen because of a typhoon, well maybe it’s really because of adulthood, knowing that this is all temporary, the vacation, polite fake smiles, the abundance of food, and in about a week or so (New Year), after you say to yourself “This is a new start of a new me blah blah..” you will find yourselves back to your meaningless lives, having found the same old fears. I find it odd back in the Christmas break of 2008 my Literature Professor asked the class how we were and he said “Were you happy this Christmas? You tried to be, but you weren’t” he said it with pure honesty that he was so sure of it. He was addressing the class, but in that moment I felt that he was only talking to me.
A tad bit ironic is that I’m listening to my favorite DJ on air as I write this down, and a couple of Christmases back maybe it was 2007 or 2008, he was really lecturing he listeners about what Christmas is suppose to be, what it’s all about, and what he spew out that night was meaningful, not the cliche that we hear every year, he really made a lot of sense, and if I must sum it up in one word he told us listeners to reflect. But then now as I listen again on his program in this time again of the year I hear him really jolly because they’re having a Christmas Party at the same time as he’s having the program, very contradicting to what he was a few Christmases back, but nevertheless before ending his program he made a short message as to what Christmas is, although not of the magnitude of what he did from back then. I just liked him better that Christmas of 2007 or 2008 because after the dramatic speech he greeted us Merry Christmas and played my favorite Christmas song, “Enter Sandman”.